I'm fifteen now!

I was leaving school today and I saw my friend Randy. I was all, "Hey, Randy! I haven't seen you all week! Where've you been?"

Randy looked out his bus window and shouted back "What's going on Miphisto? I've been at home. Shit came up." He was very nonchalant. I assumed he had skipped school.

"What kind of shit?"

"Well, my mom killed herself this weekend."

Nothing will drive a wedge between your relationship more than that. Ho-leee shit.

I am so mad at myself for not thinking up something like this.

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That is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life ever. Thank you island nation of Japan. Thank you for your nutty pizza commercials.

And I learned that I was a little bitch! Thank you for putting up with me for so long everyone!

Here's a funny story: In debate yesterday, there was this dude who said that working on cancer research was pointless because the world was going to end in 2012 (and these are the reasons why) for his entire argument. It was awesome.